Creating Strong Leadership for India

Why can't all the honest leaders contest as independents and win the election without affiliating with any political parties? If they do then no one had to worry about high/low command nonsense and pick the most deserving leader who did some real 'praja seva'/service. Pool in all such winning leaders and assign portfolios based on their vision for a better state. What is wrong with that? Why can't we do that? 

Here are my thoughts:

1. Party Vs Individual:  Let the work speak for the person. I am sure we have people who worked for the society without being affiliated to any political party or a group. Medha Patkar is known for her work. Not for her affiliation to any particular group. Now she is contesting as AAP ticket, but if I was living in the same constituency I would vote for her irrespective of her affiliation. Same goes with P. Palagummi Sainath, Vandana Shiva, Dr. Rao Chelikani and the like. I prefer to stay an optimist hoping that it might work now as people are more open to it. Parties are okay in certain case, but individual work and commitment should not be sidelined in the name of political party.
2. Commonality: I understand that national leaders need a commonality for policy making and implementation. Having said that, we all are different in our own way with our own strengths and weaknesses. I shared this post on my FB wall last week and had 10+ people responding to this post. Some are skeptical, some are optimistic, some are non-committal etc. But the *common thing” with all my friends who responded this post (I am glad that they did) is we all want to have a strong leadership in India armed with vision, honesty and integrity. I am happy to note that. Now, on the same lines, when I am asking for honest people to contest as independents and we elect them based on their merits and service that they already did for the community (even in their own little pockets) have that commonality you are talking about. They want to do something good for the society. They are already fixing things. Armed with a position in the government they do a better job than the selfish and corrupt politicians.
3. Unity in diversity: If the common ideal is to serve the nation, I am sure these individual leaders will develop a better camaraderie among the others who are elected on the same basis. I am sure leadership among them will not be driven by selfish motives. I have faith that initially there might be differences, but eventually all those will smoothen out as they have a common goal and pick a leader among themselves. I do not still think they all should belong to a common party. They should be driven by a common goal of serving the nation. Yes, in policy making they might differ in several ways at times encounter delays and discussions. But I am sure you will agree with me that a difference of opinion among rational thinking intellectuals towards building a better nation is far better than a bunch of elected representatives who are bound by party ideologies and agree upon a point in the name of leadership and selfish goals. I think the former is less evil. The latter - we are all witnessing it right now. 
4. The Need & Necessity: I also notice that the political clan we see today (not just in India) is totally disconnected with ground realities of the nation. I am exposed to such ground realities while working with MV Foundation. As I read the children's case studies and try to reason out why they were put to work at such young age and now when they are in school what these kids aspire to be when they grow into adults, I noticed some basic things. I might sound dramatic but I am sure you will agree with me - (It is not them or us - but this is common to all human beings) - Food, water, shelter, clothing, education and work. These I am sure all of us will agree are the most important things for survival - atleast the first 3 of them, irrespective of class and inequalities. Now the problem arises when  the leaders ignore these basic necessities of survival and focus on hollow developmental aspects where the main problems of food, water and shelter still exists. Once you have them ironed out, ensure that the nation is free of these problems, and parallelly develop on education which eventually leads to work we are already building a better nation. 
5. Leadership:  Leadership is not just about bringing everyone to agreement on the issue to benefit a few in the society or empowering a certain class of people. It is about empowering everyone to live with self-respect earning their daily bread. A true leader does not want followers all the time. Trust me that can be quite claustrophobic. Leadership according to me is bringing people to an agreement or close to agreeing to a common goal that will benefit the country on the whole, without any bias towards any segment of the society.

So choosing someone with these common ideologies and bring them together as a team will benefit our nation or any nation as they are driven by common ideology. They are already serving the nation, given them the authority, they will do a good job as elected representatives. I am quoting an example - Medha Patkar is an ideal example. I have inherent faith in her that she will not leave any stone unturned if natural resources in India are exploited. She needs to be given the right portfolio if elected and she will figure out a way to set things right in her area of expertise. And rest of the rational thinking leaders will understand, support and even respect her decision as it in the nation’s interest. Yes there will be difference of opinions and some delays, but don’t you think it is better to have a heated argument for a good cause than bulldozing opinionated arguments for selfish reasons?

Having said that, I am not against honest intellectual visionaries contesting elections by joining a political party. You might very well question my intention of talking about Medha Patkar who is contesting Loksabha elections on AAP ticket. Let me explain, as I said their work and commitment towards serving the nation and its people speak louder.  If these kind of leaders take charge of the country, I believe they are driven by a cause - something that is not self-centred (Thank God) So, Medha Patkar joining AAP or contesting as independent or through any other party doesn't make a difference as long as we voters know that she is the right choice and she knows what she needs to do with the responsibility bestowed on to her if she wins the election. That can never go wrong even if she belongs to a particular party. I am counting on that. That is HOPE.

Political parties can exist- but the ideologies of these parties revolved around selfish motives as we are seeing now. So essentially the voters should look at the candidates bio and the work they did in the past for the community and cast their precious vote. I admire the way AAP selects the candidates - So far I haven't seen any political party in India selecting the candidates based on the work they did outside the party's purview. I earlier was having doubts about Aam Aadmi Party Andhra Pradesh too, but my doubts were cleared after I saw the AP committee members. Each person in the committee has spent over 10-15 yrs in social work delivering results. Now that gives me immense faith and hope that these guys who already did what they had to do as leaders and now a part of a political party will definitely deliver. I am not against political party. Also, such honest intellectual visionaries won't join a shady political party which is tainted with scams. That's a relief. Leadership emerges... Don't you think so?

Suggested Exercise:

1. List out all candidates who are contesting polls in your constituency
2. Assess their qualifications in terms of social work, earlier responsibilities they have shouldered, positions held to gauge their leadership qualities, personal assets, professional qualifications, etc, - all merits and de-merits should be listed. I am counting that intellectual and socially responsible individuals to do this  without any personal bias.
3. Pick the top 5 most deserving candidates using your own judgement. Share this info in your blogs, local media and educate voters on the candidates’ background. You won’t be promoting these candidates or asking people to vote, but rather sharing results of your own assessment with outside world so they can choose the leader.
4. Adding credibility to your analysis: Invite these candidates for a debate to test them publicly in a community forum. – Facilitate them to interact with public through Google hangouts or  through main stream media or both to ensure that you picked the right guys. Remember you may be wrong at times, so, it will be a good exercise to know if we are on the right track.
5. My perception - The most deserving candidates will have  focus on the 70%* of their voters who live below the poverty line. How these candidates can help in uplifting the poor and provide the basic necessities like clean water, food, shelter, education, work etc. 

*Yes, 70% of Indian population is below poverty line – you can flush the Planning Commission report – I have numbers to prove this.

I understand this is process-oriented activity, so, probably you need to choose a team who is rational and willing to work without any personal benefits which I believe most of the patriots are willing to spend time & resources on this.  And please do share the outcome of your exercise with others so we all can improve. I am hoping this might work. 

Dilemma of ‘doing things right’ or ‘doing the right things’…

6-Feb 2014

I am faced with this question and almost collapsed under pressure when all the doors seemed to close, no ray of hope left. I may sound very dejected, but yes I am. It is not just me a couple of other ladies who got involved in this feel the same way when we tried to figure out a if we were doing the right thing or not.

A destitute widowed woman-Sarita with two lovely children, boy-Krishna aged about 9 and a little girl-Neha aged about 4 or 5 yrs old visit Ramakrishna math daily for lunch served as a part of the ‘anna daanam’ program. That is the only decent meal the family gets to eat. Their son Krishna is a drop-out from local government school and the little Neha is cute like a button, all live on the footpath near a temple near Tankbund road in Hyderabad. Sarita is an alcoholic, suffers with occasional seizures and comes to Vivekananda Health Clinic to get treatment. The doctors there tried counseling her about the alcohol abuse, but in vain.

The same doctors along with the hospital administrator visited MV Foundation hostel last week to examine the kids. Upon seeing the hostel facilities at MVF and looking at the way children are raised and educated, they again counseled this woman and this time managed to convince her to get the kids enrolled in residential schools so she can find some work for herself and take care of herself.

A senior volunteer from MV Foundation, Kausalya and I were assigned the task. As MVF did not have a boys hostel, we enrolled Krishna at Aman Vedika Residential School which is for boys and showed a shelter for women where Sarita can stay during nights safely and work during day time. As the women’s shelter too belonged to Aman Foundation and is close to the boys school, it was a bit of relief.

The problem arised, when we tried to find a girl’s hostel for little Neha who is barely five. As per Indian government’s Right to Education  (RTE) Act, only kids aged between 6-14 yrs can get complete residential facility and free education. Even to put Neha in a government residential school we have to wait for another year. Any kid below 8 yrs is not admitted in schools run by the NGOs as these kids need special care and the rules do not permit them to give admissions. We tried Aman Vedika and MVF hostel for girls, but if they risk of over-riding the rules the NGOs lose their license altogether by the state government committees.  Even if they choose to relax the rules as a special case, over 100 other kids stand losing their home at these NGO operated residential schools.  We requested the hostel authorities to keep Sarita and Neha for one night at MVF hostel in Chandrayanagutta  as we couldn’t leave them on the streets.

Next day after calling Child Line 1098, Shishu Vihar was suggested to our relief. But Shishu Vihar wouldn’t take Neha unless the mother relinquishes her total rights as a mother over the child and put her for adoption. This was a shocker for the mother and all of us.

Shishu Vihar gave us 2 options 1) Relinquish the rights and put the baby for adoption and never see the child again 2) Stay at the Mother-child state home in the same premises by working and staying with her child. Option 2 made sense, but we could not convince Sarita as she was sure that Shishu Vihar will get her child one day and took off from there without paying heed to anyone’s requests.

We finally managed to bring her back to Vivekananda Health centre doctors to make her see things clearly. But again faced a brick wall as none of the doctors or the hospital administrator could convince her to go to the Aman vedika shelter or Shishu Vihar’s mother-child shelter. Sarita chose to go back to streets and continue doing petty jobs and being an alcoholic. Earlier Krishna, her son of 9 yrs used to bring her to the health centre and take care of things as much as he could, but now Krishna staying in a residential school cum hostel, Sarita and Neha are left alone on the streets. We left all our numbers to contact in case if Sarita chooses to change her mind about rehabilitation and going to work but the chances of receiving a call from Sarita seemed bleak after 2 days.

It has been 2 days since we did not hear from Sarita. The dilemma we are facing is we think we did the right thing putting Krishna in a hostel  and is well-adjusted now. But at the same time left Sarita and little Neha back on streets because of some crazy rules we wouldn’t bend. Had there been a hostel for Neha (without the scare of adoption) Sarita is willing to leave her daughter and still have visiting rights while getting some work for herself. Sarita too realized that she needs to quit drinking and get sober to take care of herself. Added to that she even confessed to our horror that she was physically abused a couple of times while living on the streets.

We tried almost all the NGOs we knew, but no one would take both mother and child. No one is willing to employ the mother unless she quits drinking. Until then, we are unable to get them off the streets.  Sending the boy to school seemed like a right thing to do, but with the current scenario, it doesn’t sound right.

The main problem here is the will to get rehabilitated is not clear from Sarita’s side and she wouldn’t let the little girl go either. One of the doctors thought it was more practical to give up the child for adoption, but even that doesn’t sound entirely right to us. More important than getting clarity on our dilemma, we are concerned about how to get this woman and child off the streets now. According to Sarita, money is not a problem as makes about Rs.200 a day sitting by the show stand near the temple. On a Sunday she makes atleast Rs.500-600, but religiously spends Rs. 120 a day on buying liquor. The real problem is Sarita prefers to stay on streets even now. We don’t even know what is the right thing to do in this case.

Note: Names are changed to protect the identities of the family. 

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7-Feb 2014

It was a team effort. This morning I was given instructions not to interact with her for a few days by our Senior volunteer Kausalya garu. Kausalya garu will be counselling her next week. As of now I was asked to stay away from this case for a few days. I understand that it is in the best interest for now. I believe we will find a right solution soon. 

8-Feb 2014

The whole idea of implementing Right to Education is to keep children off the streets. There must be a way. I narrated the event to Mr. Venkat Reddy garu who is the National Convenor for MV Foundation.  'For every problem there are more than 2 solutions' he reiterated what I heard as a child. He promptly called back with details of an NGO specialised taking care of younger children without the fear of adoption.  Venkat Reddy garu was on an official trip to Warangal yet he did not delay in finding the right solution. I received a call from him at 7 PM and another call from Kousalya garu our Sr. volunteer who was handling the case which was very reassuring. The plan was to meet Kousalya garu at 7 AM and talk to Sarita and take Neha to the new residential school.

9-Feb 2014, 7.00 AM

Where there is a will, there is a way, but looks like it is more easy to say that than implement it. When we approached Sarita with the new school proposition, she refused to go. Today being a Sunday, Sarita did not want to leave her Rs.500-600 income and go with us to school. But she promised to go tomorrow. I hope things will fall in place tomorrow. 

10-Feb 2014 11.28 AM final update

Today Kausalya garu met Sarita and Neha at 9 AM and took both of them to Aasrita Rainbow Home for children where Neha secured admission as residential student. Mother is happy that both her children are now admitted in residential schools so she is keen in getting rehabilitated. Next task-Dr. Jyothi is working on her rehabilitation

I learnt a lesson from this experience, - Doing things right and yes the right way. I extend my heart felt thanks to all my friends Satyam Mandapati gau, Sesi Ponnala, Saratchandra Mandapati garu, Phanisri Kuchibhotla garu, Vishnuvardhan Nandam garu, Eranki Baladitya garu, Yerra Kanakaraju garu, Susmita Vavilala garu and my husband Shiva Kondapalli and all my friends who were silently wishing us to do the best and spiritually guiding us to do the right thing.  Thank you all. 

Varsha Kondapalli on Holistic Living: Eid Mubarak!

Varsha Kondapalli on Holistic Living: Eid Mubarak!: Some people give you that comfort of belonging, you don't have to try to blend in, you can be yourself without wondering what that oth...

Eid Mubarak!

Some people give you that comfort of belonging, you don't have to try to blend in, you can be yourself without wondering what that other person thinks of you. With them even a moment of absolute silence can make them comprehend your innermost thoughts. Having such people in your life is a true blessing. It doesn't matter even you meet them once in a year for a few hours.

On the other hand with some people you are constantly waiting for them to acknowledge your very presence in their life, even if you are related to them, at times making you wonder if it is really worth all the effort. They seem to be oblivious of your feelings even if you use a thousand words trying to tell them how you feel. They fail to see it. People you can do without.

At times I even wonder what is that keeps us going. Is it the people you constantly interact with, work with, and spend the maximum time or the ones who give those quality moments which make the wait worthwhile…? Is it love?  Or is it the void that you always had that is filled by this person? What is that inherent quality that that you find in that special someone that connects you to them across time zones?

Last week has been a blur of mixed emotions for me. Reconnecting with friends.  Celebrating smiles. Recognizing love. Learning to be patient. Wondering why we have to complicate it all, when the absolute happiness is right in front of you. If a moment of silence can convey your innermost thoughts to person whom you see once in a year, why shout and announce your presence to someone who don’t even care? Call me lazy, but I think it is too much effort keeping some relationships going.

If you are worth their time, they will figure out a way to understand you. That should be by default and vice versa. Relationships should be effortless. I know my Mom will deliver a lecture when I say this. Maybe she is right in politically correct sense. But Mom, I am not talking about acceptance or mutual admiration. I am talking about people who really make sense. They have that special ability to tell you how stupid your idea is without making you look stupid. On the other hand, some people even make a compliment sound sarcastic.

And off-late I am concerned and confused about relationships often ending with the same daunting question. If a person doesn’t understand your silence, is it worthwhile using words? To a person who doesn’t know the real you, is it okay to walk away from an uncomfortable situation without stress, or linger around hoping that one day they will turn around and look at you? I know it is absurd to expect anyone to be perfect in that sense in today’s world, and we should enjoy what comes our way and don’t let the days end with ‘if only’. ..

So for now, I am shelving the rest of the thoughts and questions and just enjoying the ride, thanking God for sending friends my way so I can be myself. This is truly a special Eid for me. Feeling truly blessed. Thank you God!

Self reflections

It is funny how we all unconsciously stop by to admire ourselves, even for a moment, trying to catch a faint reflection of ourselves in a mirror, oblivious of our surroundings. Nevermind how fleeting it is, a quick check on those unruly locks of hair on good, bad and okay hair days, I am amazed to see how obsessed we all are with our own reflection in the mirror. I am compelled to be an amused and a mute spectator for many such admirers passing by my office daily. 

Exterior of my office offers a wonderful place for all the narcissists passing by. While I am typing this, I see a bearded man busily checking his teeth in front of my office blissfully unaware of my amusement from the other side of the tinted glass. I wonder if he would still do the same if he knew that someone was watching his private grooming session. I personally cringe at the thought of being watched when I am in one of my narcissist moods. 

Now comes the gender part. For all the guys reading this, don’t you think that we girls are the ones who are busy checking makeup. In fact men outnumber women. In this regard, I am your witness. Thanks to the couple of clinics next door, I see a steady stream of people walking past daily, catching glimpses of their reflections. Women self-consciously adjust their dress or hair before quickly moving on, sometimes wondering if there is anyone on the other side of glass watching. Some of then linger long enough for me to catch their disappointment about their widened waistline while adjusting sarees. While men folk are in no hurry. Some of them start combing their hair, checking their teeth, see how they look while talking on their mobile phones or simply admiring themselves. Some men prefer checking themselves from various angles as if they are alone in their dressing room. The most hilarious part is when they try to tuck the tummies a little trying to see how they look if they could only lose a few inches there. I really hope they do.  

One of my friends at college used tell ‘it is never wrong or impolite to check your makeup and hair in the reflective eye wear of the person who is impolite enough to wear it while talking with you. That’s the best way to tell them to remove their shades when they talk to you face to face’. Well, I’ve never got a chance to do that yet. But for now, I am amusing myself watching others from the other side of looking glass. Oh yes, there is one difference that is stark between men and women. Women are most self conscious lot than men. They smile very little and quickly walk away after a quick glance, with a regretful expression. While men, despite appearances tend to admire the receding hairlines and beer bellies seem to be a happier bunch. I guess we girls need to take that tip and start loving what we see...