Dilemma of ‘doing things right’ or ‘doing the right things’…

6-Feb 2014

I am faced with this question and almost collapsed under pressure when all the doors seemed to close, no ray of hope left. I may sound very dejected, but yes I am. It is not just me a couple of other ladies who got involved in this feel the same way when we tried to figure out a if we were doing the right thing or not.

A destitute widowed woman-Sarita with two lovely children, boy-Krishna aged about 9 and a little girl-Neha aged about 4 or 5 yrs old visit Ramakrishna math daily for lunch served as a part of the ‘anna daanam’ program. That is the only decent meal the family gets to eat. Their son Krishna is a drop-out from local government school and the little Neha is cute like a button, all live on the footpath near a temple near Tankbund road in Hyderabad. Sarita is an alcoholic, suffers with occasional seizures and comes to Vivekananda Health Clinic to get treatment. The doctors there tried counseling her about the alcohol abuse, but in vain.

The same doctors along with the hospital administrator visited MV Foundation hostel last week to examine the kids. Upon seeing the hostel facilities at MVF and looking at the way children are raised and educated, they again counseled this woman and this time managed to convince her to get the kids enrolled in residential schools so she can find some work for herself and take care of herself.

A senior volunteer from MV Foundation, Kausalya and I were assigned the task. As MVF did not have a boys hostel, we enrolled Krishna at Aman Vedika Residential School which is for boys and showed a shelter for women where Sarita can stay during nights safely and work during day time. As the women’s shelter too belonged to Aman Foundation and is close to the boys school, it was a bit of relief.

The problem arised, when we tried to find a girl’s hostel for little Neha who is barely five. As per Indian government’s Right to Education  (RTE) Act, only kids aged between 6-14 yrs can get complete residential facility and free education. Even to put Neha in a government residential school we have to wait for another year. Any kid below 8 yrs is not admitted in schools run by the NGOs as these kids need special care and the rules do not permit them to give admissions. We tried Aman Vedika and MVF hostel for girls, but if they risk of over-riding the rules the NGOs lose their license altogether by the state government committees.  Even if they choose to relax the rules as a special case, over 100 other kids stand losing their home at these NGO operated residential schools.  We requested the hostel authorities to keep Sarita and Neha for one night at MVF hostel in Chandrayanagutta  as we couldn’t leave them on the streets.

Next day after calling Child Line 1098, Shishu Vihar was suggested to our relief. But Shishu Vihar wouldn’t take Neha unless the mother relinquishes her total rights as a mother over the child and put her for adoption. This was a shocker for the mother and all of us.

Shishu Vihar gave us 2 options 1) Relinquish the rights and put the baby for adoption and never see the child again 2) Stay at the Mother-child state home in the same premises by working and staying with her child. Option 2 made sense, but we could not convince Sarita as she was sure that Shishu Vihar will get her child one day and took off from there without paying heed to anyone’s requests.

We finally managed to bring her back to Vivekananda Health centre doctors to make her see things clearly. But again faced a brick wall as none of the doctors or the hospital administrator could convince her to go to the Aman vedika shelter or Shishu Vihar’s mother-child shelter. Sarita chose to go back to streets and continue doing petty jobs and being an alcoholic. Earlier Krishna, her son of 9 yrs used to bring her to the health centre and take care of things as much as he could, but now Krishna staying in a residential school cum hostel, Sarita and Neha are left alone on the streets. We left all our numbers to contact in case if Sarita chooses to change her mind about rehabilitation and going to work but the chances of receiving a call from Sarita seemed bleak after 2 days.

It has been 2 days since we did not hear from Sarita. The dilemma we are facing is we think we did the right thing putting Krishna in a hostel  and is well-adjusted now. But at the same time left Sarita and little Neha back on streets because of some crazy rules we wouldn’t bend. Had there been a hostel for Neha (without the scare of adoption) Sarita is willing to leave her daughter and still have visiting rights while getting some work for herself. Sarita too realized that she needs to quit drinking and get sober to take care of herself. Added to that she even confessed to our horror that she was physically abused a couple of times while living on the streets.

We tried almost all the NGOs we knew, but no one would take both mother and child. No one is willing to employ the mother unless she quits drinking. Until then, we are unable to get them off the streets.  Sending the boy to school seemed like a right thing to do, but with the current scenario, it doesn’t sound right.

The main problem here is the will to get rehabilitated is not clear from Sarita’s side and she wouldn’t let the little girl go either. One of the doctors thought it was more practical to give up the child for adoption, but even that doesn’t sound entirely right to us. More important than getting clarity on our dilemma, we are concerned about how to get this woman and child off the streets now. According to Sarita, money is not a problem as makes about Rs.200 a day sitting by the show stand near the temple. On a Sunday she makes atleast Rs.500-600, but religiously spends Rs. 120 a day on buying liquor. The real problem is Sarita prefers to stay on streets even now. We don’t even know what is the right thing to do in this case.

Note: Names are changed to protect the identities of the family. 

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7-Feb 2014

It was a team effort. This morning I was given instructions not to interact with her for a few days by our Senior volunteer Kausalya garu. Kausalya garu will be counselling her next week. As of now I was asked to stay away from this case for a few days. I understand that it is in the best interest for now. I believe we will find a right solution soon. 

8-Feb 2014

The whole idea of implementing Right to Education is to keep children off the streets. There must be a way. I narrated the event to Mr. Venkat Reddy garu who is the National Convenor for MV Foundation.  'For every problem there are more than 2 solutions' he reiterated what I heard as a child. He promptly called back with details of an NGO specialised taking care of younger children without the fear of adoption.  Venkat Reddy garu was on an official trip to Warangal yet he did not delay in finding the right solution. I received a call from him at 7 PM and another call from Kousalya garu our Sr. volunteer who was handling the case which was very reassuring. The plan was to meet Kousalya garu at 7 AM and talk to Sarita and take Neha to the new residential school.

9-Feb 2014, 7.00 AM

Where there is a will, there is a way, but looks like it is more easy to say that than implement it. When we approached Sarita with the new school proposition, she refused to go. Today being a Sunday, Sarita did not want to leave her Rs.500-600 income and go with us to school. But she promised to go tomorrow. I hope things will fall in place tomorrow. 

10-Feb 2014 11.28 AM final update

Today Kausalya garu met Sarita and Neha at 9 AM and took both of them to Aasrita Rainbow Home for children where Neha secured admission as residential student. Mother is happy that both her children are now admitted in residential schools so she is keen in getting rehabilitated. Next task-Dr. Jyothi is working on her rehabilitation

I learnt a lesson from this experience, - Doing things right and yes the right way. I extend my heart felt thanks to all my friends Satyam Mandapati gau, Sesi Ponnala, Saratchandra Mandapati garu, Phanisri Kuchibhotla garu, Vishnuvardhan Nandam garu, Eranki Baladitya garu, Yerra Kanakaraju garu, Susmita Vavilala garu and my husband Shiva Kondapalli and all my friends who were silently wishing us to do the best and spiritually guiding us to do the right thing.  Thank you all.