Varsha Kondapalli on Holistic Living: Eid Mubarak!

Varsha Kondapalli on Holistic Living: Eid Mubarak!: Some people give you that comfort of belonging, you don't have to try to blend in, you can be yourself without wondering what that oth...

Eid Mubarak!

Some people give you that comfort of belonging, you don't have to try to blend in, you can be yourself without wondering what that other person thinks of you. With them even a moment of absolute silence can make them comprehend your innermost thoughts. Having such people in your life is a true blessing. It doesn't matter even you meet them once in a year for a few hours.

On the other hand with some people you are constantly waiting for them to acknowledge your very presence in their life, even if you are related to them, at times making you wonder if it is really worth all the effort. They seem to be oblivious of your feelings even if you use a thousand words trying to tell them how you feel. They fail to see it. People you can do without.

At times I even wonder what is that keeps us going. Is it the people you constantly interact with, work with, and spend the maximum time or the ones who give those quality moments which make the wait worthwhile…? Is it love?  Or is it the void that you always had that is filled by this person? What is that inherent quality that that you find in that special someone that connects you to them across time zones?

Last week has been a blur of mixed emotions for me. Reconnecting with friends.  Celebrating smiles. Recognizing love. Learning to be patient. Wondering why we have to complicate it all, when the absolute happiness is right in front of you. If a moment of silence can convey your innermost thoughts to person whom you see once in a year, why shout and announce your presence to someone who don’t even care? Call me lazy, but I think it is too much effort keeping some relationships going.

If you are worth their time, they will figure out a way to understand you. That should be by default and vice versa. Relationships should be effortless. I know my Mom will deliver a lecture when I say this. Maybe she is right in politically correct sense. But Mom, I am not talking about acceptance or mutual admiration. I am talking about people who really make sense. They have that special ability to tell you how stupid your idea is without making you look stupid. On the other hand, some people even make a compliment sound sarcastic.

And off-late I am concerned and confused about relationships often ending with the same daunting question. If a person doesn’t understand your silence, is it worthwhile using words? To a person who doesn’t know the real you, is it okay to walk away from an uncomfortable situation without stress, or linger around hoping that one day they will turn around and look at you? I know it is absurd to expect anyone to be perfect in that sense in today’s world, and we should enjoy what comes our way and don’t let the days end with ‘if only’. ..

So for now, I am shelving the rest of the thoughts and questions and just enjoying the ride, thanking God for sending friends my way so I can be myself. This is truly a special Eid for me. Feeling truly blessed. Thank you God!

Self reflections

It is funny how we all unconsciously stop by to admire ourselves, even for a moment, trying to catch a faint reflection of ourselves in a mirror, oblivious of our surroundings. Nevermind how fleeting it is, a quick check on those unruly locks of hair on good, bad and okay hair days, I am amazed to see how obsessed we all are with our own reflection in the mirror. I am compelled to be an amused and a mute spectator for many such admirers passing by my office daily. 

Exterior of my office offers a wonderful place for all the narcissists passing by. While I am typing this, I see a bearded man busily checking his teeth in front of my office blissfully unaware of my amusement from the other side of the tinted glass. I wonder if he would still do the same if he knew that someone was watching his private grooming session. I personally cringe at the thought of being watched when I am in one of my narcissist moods. 

Now comes the gender part. For all the guys reading this, don’t you think that we girls are the ones who are busy checking makeup. In fact men outnumber women. In this regard, I am your witness. Thanks to the couple of clinics next door, I see a steady stream of people walking past daily, catching glimpses of their reflections. Women self-consciously adjust their dress or hair before quickly moving on, sometimes wondering if there is anyone on the other side of glass watching. Some of then linger long enough for me to catch their disappointment about their widened waistline while adjusting sarees. While men folk are in no hurry. Some of them start combing their hair, checking their teeth, see how they look while talking on their mobile phones or simply admiring themselves. Some men prefer checking themselves from various angles as if they are alone in their dressing room. The most hilarious part is when they try to tuck the tummies a little trying to see how they look if they could only lose a few inches there. I really hope they do.  

One of my friends at college used tell ‘it is never wrong or impolite to check your makeup and hair in the reflective eye wear of the person who is impolite enough to wear it while talking with you. That’s the best way to tell them to remove their shades when they talk to you face to face’. Well, I’ve never got a chance to do that yet. But for now, I am amusing myself watching others from the other side of looking glass. Oh yes, there is one difference that is stark between men and women. Women are most self conscious lot than men. They smile very little and quickly walk away after a quick glance, with a regretful expression. While men, despite appearances tend to admire the receding hairlines and beer bellies seem to be a happier bunch. I guess we girls need to take that tip and start loving what we see...